Translucent
by LiveLoveLikeMe
Summary: What if something had gone wrong durring "Loss" when Olivia and Elliot say goodbye to Alex?  What happens when Alex and Olivia are facing entirely new lives, together? Will the light shine through them after all?  Lots of lovely A/O.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.

A/N: I really went back and forth about posting this. I would have liked to have at least half of it finished first, but when I get into something I just want to post it so badly. While I've written fan fiction before of other couples on other sites, this is my first one here and of these two. Feedback would be greatly appreciated. I'll do my best to update once a week, but I can't make any promises. Sometimes I'll be so excited I'll want to update sooner, and other times I'll unfortunately be too busy. Now, I tend to have a thing where I always write and edit my writing in the middle of the night, so I apologize for any mistakes I didn't catch. Also, my rating for this story could change at any given moment, as I have yet to complete the story or all the ideas for it. If any of you think at any time I should change the rating, let me know. So, I will stop now and let you read it already!

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><p>Single sounds emanated from the darkness inside Alex Cabot's unresponsive mind. Those sounds soon turned into letters, which merged together into syllables. An invisible thread wove its way through her mind, desperately trying to pull the syllables together. She could feel the word straining to form as a whole, but the thread just wasn't yet strong enough to assemble anything feasible.<p>

What little control Alex could muster in her mind was set to work, never missing a beat. She singled in on the way the syllables sounded, straining to make any sort of viable connection. Her mind flashed with the blurred image of a woman, but she couldn't identify who it could possibly be.

She didn't understand why, but finding a connection felt very important at the moment. Alex strained her mind as far as she could, but to no avail. She tried to focus in on the scene with her other senses, hoping one of them would be stronger than the rest. There it was, just as she had hoped, a very familiar scent. It wasn't much to go by, but she knew she was so close to an answer that she couldn't possibly stop.

So a familiar scented woman had spoken to her, Alex Cabot; this wouldn't be very helpful. Alex knew many women, but none of them seemed to be coming to her mind at the moment. The syllables continued to swirl in Alex's mind, along with the now only slightly fuzzy image and the scent of coffee mixed with vanilla.

In fact, Alex's mind was so focused on this one moment that it never even occurred to her that her body wasn't responding at all. Every tiny but of energy left was focused on the word she was desperately trying to find. And then it hit her, like a flash from the headlights of a car; Olivia. Olivia had been the coffee and vanilla scented woman in front of her. No, actually she had been above her, kneeling. _But why?_

Alex pulled her memory, desperate to know what the detective had said to her that felt so pressingly important. Her lips strained to let the word roll off, so hard, in fact, that they moved. Right there, suddenly, Alex left the darkness of her mind as the word finally manages to escape into the air. "Sweetheart."

Olivia had called her _Sweetheart._

Alex unknowingly and involuntarily smiled as she opened her heavy eyes and took in her surroundings. The sight wasn't much to see. In fact, aside from four clinical white walls, a silver metallic medical stand with a fluid bag, and the rumpled roll-away bed she was placed in, the only other thing in the room was a man by the name of Hammond.

He had a stern look on his face as he watched Alexandra's confusion from his spot in the corner. He leaned against the wall with his shoulders pushed against it by his supporting legs. When Alex tried to sit up to get a better look at him, she grimaced and automatically reached for her shot shoulder. The blaring pain brought back her memories of what had happened that night.

"Where's Olivia?" Alex asked quickly without thinking. Realizing her slight mistake she hesitantly added, "And Elliot."

Hammond noticed her immediate slip, but knew it wasn't his place or business to say anything about it. "Do you recall what happened Ms. Cabot?" he asked sternly, never letting the expression on his face ease or even falter slightly.

"I- I was shot," she stated blatantly. Alex was already sure she didn't like where the conversation was going.

"By Velez," Hammond added with an almost solemn tone in his voice. "Ms. Cabot, you aren't safe here as long as he is still running free," he paused, unsure how to tell the news to the ice hard attorney who could easily bite off his head at any given moment.

"So you want to put me in witness protection," Alex spoke coldly for him. Her eyes drifted to the walls in search for a window, but none could be seen. The room was as empty as her eyes had just become. For a moment she froze in thought, her face showing her spaced out trance. Just as suddenly she came back to reality and looked up sharply at Hammond. "I'll go," Alex stated coldly.

"Okay, good. Now, your funeral is in two days. We move out tomorrow so-." Alex quickly cut him off.

"But only on one condition," she said fiercely, allowing her inner ADA to smoothly take over once more.

Hammond knew he would never stand a chance against the whip-fast lady and nervously asked her what that condition may be.

"I'm assuming Olivia and Elliot think I'm dead. They were with me that night and that is too much pain to put on anyone in their positions. I want to say goodbye to them, to let someone know the truth," Alex said, her mind already made up with or without Hammond's approval.

"I don't know Cabot, that could be dangerous. You would be safer if we moved you straight away…," Hammond hesitated. On one hand, he knew the dangerous possibilities of what she was asking. On the other hand, he was well aware of the wrath of Alex Cabot if she didn't get her way, and he wasn't sure he really wanted to face the later.

"My mind is made up Hammond. No goodbye visit, then no witness protection," Alex said firmly. She was holding his caving gaze with her own fiery glare that could make even the most criminal man uneasy. Alex knew undoubtedly she would get her way. She always did.

Without another word, Hammond pulled his cell phone out of his back right pocket and dialed the familiar numbers of the 16th precinct. Alex smiled to herself, letting this small win distract her from her twisted up life for a short second.

"Cragen, its Hammond," the man spoke firmly into the phone. "Yeah, look I need you to send Detectives Benson and Stabler to that location we talked about," Hammond continued as he put his left hand into his pocket and let out a loud breath. He made eye contact with Alex, signaling her with a mix of 'you win,' and 'I hope you know what you are getting yourself into, Cabot.'

After a few moments of silence from Hammond, Cragen must have been talking on the other line, Hammond snapped his phone shut and placed it back in the original nesting pocket. "Get dressed Cabot, they're on their way to our meeting place now," Hammond said forcefully. Normally Alex would never oblige to being told in any way what to do, but in this case she had no other choice. Hammond pointed with his now cell phone free hand to a small pile of clothes on the corner of her bed. Hammond exited to a spot just outside the door so Alex could have enough privacy to change, yet still be well protected.

A fire rose within Alex as she hurriedly put on the clothes Hammond had left her, well as quickly as one can with a bullet hole and an arm in a cradling white sling. Alex tolerated the pain, however, for she now knew she would get to see Olivia. She didn't know or understand why this made her feel so happy, why a thousand butterflies had just suddenly left their resting perches in her stomach and began flittering around like mad, but it provoked an all-too-familiar drive within her that practically shoved her out the make-work hospital door.

Hammond stood somberly ready for her to her left when she exited the doorway. 'Jeeze, does the guy ever smile?' the ice princess herself pondered as she was swiftly led down a long stone hall and out into a dark van. The large vehicle with tinted windows and a bulletproof shell may have been meant to protect the ADA, but it only made her feel more vulnerable, fragile to Velez and his men.

Alex hesitantly watched out the windows. She was aware they were tinted to keep prying eyes out, but somehow she felt like every set of eyes they passed could see right through the glass. They were even seeing through her, like a ghost. 'So this is how it feels to be dead,' Alex thought to herself. In fact, the blonde was so lost in thought about how transparent she felt that she didn't even realize the car had come to an abrupt stop in a seemingly secluded area.

Alex felt her heart begin to beat rapidly. There was no doubt in her mind; Olivia just had to be nearby.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.**

**A/N: Hello lovely people! I am so overwhelmed that you guys liked it and reviewed! That was definitely the encouragement I needed to get back into posting my fanfiction. On a side note, I posted a Casey Novak one-shot called "Paralysis" and several people expressed interest in it being continued. While that won't be happening, I have started writing a new Casey/Olivia story that will not be posted until I finish the last six chapters, however keep an eye out if you're interested in it! And once again, thanks so much everyone who is reading and reviewing this, it means the world to me!**

And I have a question that maybe one of you could answer, which arm of Alex's was in a sling? I don't even know how many times I've watched Loss, yet I still can't seem to tell. If I have it wrong, let me know and I'll change it, okay? Thanks!

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><p>"They're walking towards us now," Hammond said, partly to account for what was going on and partly to put Alex as ease as best he could. He stepped out of the car and mumbled something about her being stubborn to the detectives. Alex went to scoff but soon realized she couldn't, as her breath appeared to have gotten caught in her throat at the sight of <em>her<em> detective Benson on the other side of the window.

Alex's tough lawyer self couldn't have even prevented what erupted from her next. Without hesitation, Alex hurled the car door open, leapt out, and flung herself and her uninjured left arm around a now breathless Olivia. The detective let out a shocked gasp, now her turn to have a breath catch in her throat.

"Alex?" a perplexed Olivia Benson exclaimed with tears already springing to her glossy eyes.

Elliot stood to the side in shock, more to Alex's reaction to Olivia than to the fact that she was really alive. In fact, the way she had flung herself at Olivia was reminding him oddly of an act done between two lovers. He swiftly dismissed the thought and brought his attention back to the fact that Alex Cabot was indeed alive.

"Your funeral's tomorrow," Olivia tearfully choked out. She had managed to carefully pull her arms tightly around Alex to return the attempted one-arm hug. Everyone was so wrapped up in what was happening that they never noticed the black car pull up in the shadows just to their right.

Bang.

Everything happened so fast. Olivia threw herself and Alex to the ground, making sure to thoroughly cover her ADA this time. Her biggest regret from a few nights ago was that she hadn't covered Alex better. Hammond, seeing that the witness was expertly covered, pulled out his own gun as he leapt to the ground. He fired at the carefully retreating vehicle, smashing in their back window with the impact of his bullets. They fired back.

Everything became a blur as Alex fiercely shook under Olivia while the sound of bullets whizzed by, some hitting the ground right by her, others clanging off the bullet proof metal of the FBI vehicle. All too quickly, but what felt like a blurry forever, there was a large impacting thud, the sharp screeching of tires, and a painful cry.

The shooters were gone even quicker than they had arrived. As much as Alex was enjoying the closeness she had with Olivia at the moment, her injured arm could hardly handle the pressure anymore. However, when she shifted to help Olivia get off her, she noticed the trickle of blood going down the detective's arm.

"Olivia! Are you okay? Where did they shoot you?" Alex panicked and her eyes tore all across Olivia's body.

"Shh… calm down Alex, a bullet just barely grazed my arm. I've done much worse damage to myself," Olivia said reassuringly. She had managed to gain her composure and ignore the sharp pain in the flesh of her left arm for Alex's sake.

Alex, aided by Olivia, took a deep breath to try and calm down. She was fine. Olivia was okay. "How did they find us?" Alex asked desperately as she managed to tear her gaze from Olivia just long enough to look at Hammond for an answer.

"Velez and Zapatos must have an even stronger force behind them than we thought. We need to move tonight if we want to even stand a chance," Hammond said, motioning for Alex to immediately return to the vehicle. Alex looked back to Olivia, afraid to let go.

"Thank you," she spoke tearfully as she looked the detective in the eyes. Olivia didn't want her to leave any more than Alex wanted to let go. The two ignored Hammond and continued to look the other directly in the eyes, neither daring to break the contact. Olivia wanted to memorize ever last detail of Alex's baby blue pools. Alex wanted to melt and disappear right into Olivia's chestnut brown puddles.

Hammond could feel the intensity between the two, but didn't dare waste any more time when they should be moving. "Thank you for coming out detectives," Hammond said solemnly to pull the two women out of their trance.

Olivia processed what has been said and felt something in her stomach smack the ground like a rock. "Where's Elliot?" she asked barely above a whisper as the sensation of panic began to set in.

Alex looked beyond Olivia and froze at the painful sight only a mere few feet away. Olivia nervously followed Alex's gaze and when her eyes set on what Alex was looking at, her lips let out a deafening scream of protest.

"NOOOO!" Olivia leapt to her partner's side.

Elliot Stabler was sprawled out on the ground in a pool if his own blood. His lips were just barely parted; the color had only just begun to drain from him. His eyes were wide and paralyzed. Olivia soon detected the source of the blood at the bullet hole right at the center of his left chest; right above his heart. She put her hand on the spot and tried applying pressure the same way she had with Alex.

"Please… Elliot. Help," Olivia whispered, unable to gain anymore strength in her voice between the heavy sobs that wracked through her body. There, right in front of her, was her partner. Elliot was her everything packed into one; her brother, her conscience, her family, her friend. She let her tears rip down her face as she tried to revive him.

"Shh," spoke a soft, female voice in her ear. This time the comforting was coming from none other than Alex Cabot. The blonde had come up behind Olivia and crouched down, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. She carefully began moving her fingers ever so slightly in circles on Olivia's back, just enough to give off a calming effect on the detective.

Alex strained to look at the body on the ground in front of her. Olivia's sobbing form clung to him, luckily blocking most of her view of the blood. It didn't take an expert, however, to come to the quick conclusion that Elliot Stabler was in no way breathing. Alex gasped as she realized what was happening.

"Liv," Alex spoke as calmly as she could muster the strength to be. She knew from experience that someone had to be strong. Olivia had crumbled when she was shot, but Elliot had been there to help her when Alex couldn't. Now, Alex felt like it was her turn to be the strong one. "Liv, Elliot isn't breathing. You need to let go, sweetie."

Hammond finally stepped in, grabbing Olivia by the arm and forcing her off Elliot's body. She just sat there sobbing, his blood covering her hands. Alex looked desperately for something she could do but saw nothing except Olivia. She held onto Olivia with her good arm, softly making shushing sounds to try and calm her down. Meanwhile, Hammond had bent down over Elliot and felt for a pulse.

Olivia had turned and buried her face in Alex's lap, no longer able to bare the sight of her partner's lifeless body on the ground. Alex looked to Hammond for an answer, to anything really, and he just shook his head solemnly.

"Cabot," he began, choosing the woman who seemed to be most in control of herself out of the two at the moment. "I need you to escort Detective Benson into the van, now," he ordered before pulling his radio out of his pocket and calling in for a bus. It was clear to him Elliot Stabler didn't stand a chance as it was already too late, but he knew better than to take a chance when he was being watched by two emotionally distraught women.

Alex, too frightened to even try and protest Hammond's orders, attempted to pull Olivia into a standing position to lead her to the van. As soon as the detective was back on her feet, however, she lunged towards Elliot once more, almost knocking Alex to the ground in the process. Hammond was prepared for a reaction like this. He caught a sobbing Olivia in his arms and stopped her from touching the body again.

"Detective Benson, I'm sorry, but he is dead. Now, there is no telling that those men won't come back. I insist that you get in that van immediately, unless you plan on joining Detective Stabler," Hammond ordered with as much cold force in his voice as he could possibly pull off. Of course he didn't like what had happened to Elliot any more than the others, but he knew the only way they would be able to move was if he told her the cold hard truth.

"Come on," Alex whispered in her ear as she grabbed Olivia's uninjured arm. For the first time since Olivia had noticed Elliot, she looked up at Alex. There were a few modest tears scattered along the ADA's cheeks, but none nearly as painful as the ones soaking Olivia's face. She knew Alex was just as sad about their friend's tragic death as she was, but her pain needed someone to blame for what had just happened. Olivia suddenly shrugged out of Alex's clasp and stoically walked to and entered the van.

Alex felt a pang in her heart at Olivia's cold reaction, but she didn't blame her. She had never experienced the bond of having a partner like Olivia had, so she could only imagine the pain of watching someone so close die and not being able to do anything about it. Alex followed Olivia quietly into the van. She wanted to sit next to the detective, not only to comfort her but to receive a little back. After all, Alex had a weight pulling her heart down to the ground that was currently sitting inside her chest.

She wanted to hold Olivia, to tell her that everything would be fine, but she couldn't. Firstly, because she had no reason to believe that everything would, in fact, be fine. Secondly, she had seen Olivia pull away like this before. It was obvious she just wanted to be left alone, as she sat there with her arms folded and her lost gaze staring out the window.

As they waited for Hammond to finish up, Alex began to contemplate the last few hours of her life. Why was she so drawn to Olivia? She had never felt like that about a woman before. Alex was extremely confused about why she wanted to hold the detective and comfort her in what would be considered more than a friendly way. All she knew was that some unseen force was driving her towards Olivia and she didn't seem to want to stop it.

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><p>AN (again): So I apologize to any Elliot fans. It's not that I dislike him or wanted to do that to him, but the fanfiction gods said that would be the only way to keep him out of what is going to happen next so… as you can see, my hands were clearly tied. =]


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.**

**A/N: Another chapter for you wonderful people! THANK YOU SO MUCH for the reviews and everything, feedback is seriously my air. I need to get refocused on this story though, because I'm almost out of chapters to post! I suppose this is because my not-really-a-muse-but-emotional-inspiration is gone from my life, which is good, but I don't have as many built up emotions to write from.**

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><p>About ten excruciatingly long minutes later, a slightly ruffled Hammond returned to the van. His face was hardly readable, as his expression was cold and almost lifeless. "FBI is coming to gather the body. We'll leave an armed man behind to watch him until they arrive. For now, we need to move."<p>

Alex nodded in understanding and looked over at Olivia. She hadn't even looked at Hammond; just kept staring off out the window at the stars. "What about Olivia's arm?" Alex asked, knowing it would be easily forgotten in all the FBI's constant commotion if she didn't speak up for the detective.

"There's a first aid kit under your seat, Ms. Cabot. I can bandage it, however, I think there is a more pressing issue to discuss first," Hammond responded seriously as they pulled away from the scene.

"Like?" Olivia asked, startling Alex slightly with the sudden unexpected sound to her left. At least she was finally looking away from the window. She brought both of her hands up to wipe the stale tears off her face. '_There's no use crying when all is said and done,_' Olivia thought to herself.

"No, you fix her arm first. It could get infected," Alex said stubbornly, somewhat shocking both Hammond and Olivia. Olivia was used to Alex's prevalently strong will. However, she didn't expect to be defended by the very woman she was giving the cold shoulder to. She didn't feel like she really deserved the help at the moment, not after Elliot had received none.

Hammond sighed and instructed Alex on where the first aid kit was. Olivia nervously tensed in her seat. It was clear that Olivia did not feel comfortable with him fixing her up from the look in her eyes, which Alex happened to notice.

"Actually, you're in the front, it will be hard for you to do it from there. I will, just tell me what to do," Alex suggested, hoping it would calm Olivia down. Luckily, she got the desired effect, although Olivia still would not acknowledge her presence. She felt so transparent, but it didn't matter because at the moment Olivia was more important.

"Fine, okay first take off the jacket. That will make it easier to get at the entire wound," Hammond instructed slowly.

Alex looked to Olivia for permission to help her. She was hesitant, but the pain had begun to get to her. Reluctantly, Olivia nodded her head just slightly enough to let Alex know she had permission.

Alex, using her usable arm, carefully helped Olivia peel off the bloody leather jacket. Olivia cringed slightly, but still kept her face from showing just how much it hurt. Sure the bleeding had at least subsided, but the pain hadn't.

"Okay, now what?" Alex asked once the jacket was fully removed.

"Do you see a white bottle of alcohol? I need you to use that and a cloth that should be next to it to clean of the wound as much as you can."

Alex had no trouble locating the items, but touching the wound was another story. It was obvious to her that she had seen way more blood in the last few days than this, but that didn't make it much easier when it was Olivia's blood she was cleaning. While she couldn't place an exact reasoning on it, Olivia's blood was much different.

Holding her breath, Alex began to clean off Olivia's wound. Having been shot before, Olivia knew to expect and brace herself for the pain. She had her teeth clenched, but she managed to keep from screaming at the searing pain.

Alex, realizing she was causing Olivia pain, immediately stopped. "Oh god, Liv, are you okay?" Alex exclaimed fearfully.

She wasn't sure if Olivia was still too mad at her to speak or if she was just in too much pain to. Either way, Olivia simply forced her tear covered head to nod yes. Alex took this as a sign to just continue and get it over with.

"When you finish, just put one of the large bandages on it. That should be good," Hammond said as he finished his instructions. Alex was able to complete the last step with no trouble and felt herself finally let out her breath.

"Thank you," Olivia finally spoke. There was just the tiniest hint of warmth in her words before she turned away from Alex once more and looked to Hammond to continue his previous thought.

"Detective, it seems you are now in the same boat as Ms. Cabot. His men would have seen you, and I doubt they appreciated you blocking their hit shots, not that we aren't very grateful. I strongly feel that you would be the safest in protected custody," Hammond said, unsure how she would react to his suggestion, but bracing himself none-the-less.

"Sir, with all due respect, I'm an officer. I'm sure I can protect myself," Olivia said almost vehemently.

"Yes, I'm sure Stabler thought that as well," Hammond said, realizing when it was too late that he had hit a very sore spot. Olivia glared at him with fire in her eyes that even Alex hadn't seen so intense before.

She hated Hammond for even mentioning Elliot in this discussion. He was just an innocent man, yet he just took the shot to protect them. Olivia hadn't missed the fact that Elliot's body was between her and the drive-by car. He had tried to become a human shield. She knew, however, that the situation was very important. Hammond obviously hadn't meant to upset her with his comment, only prove his point for her protection. Using every bit of strength left, Olivia bit her tongue to keep from saying anything rude.

"So I'd be leaving everyone and everything I know behind?" Olivia said nervously, controlling her emotions as much as she could.

"Yes, for a while anyways. I won't lie to you Ms. Benson, this case may not go away as quickly as we would like," Hammond said truthfully. He wasn't sure this was what Olivia wanted to hear, but he never felt comfortable lying to a victim. From then on, that's exactly what Olivia was though, a victim.

"What if Olivia goes into the program with me? Then, at least, we won't be alone," Alex suggested before thinking about what she was saying.

'_What are you doing Cabot? Why on earth do you think Olivia would want to stay with you?'_ Alex mentally scolded herself. She had no clue where her idea had even come from. Her relationship with Olivia wasn't exactly as personal as she would have liked, certainly not on the level of living together. They were friends, loosely at that. They hadn't even begun associating outside of work until maybe a year ago. However, Alex was soon ripped from her thoughts by a ringing sound.

Olivia looked down at her cell phone, identifying the source of the mysterious ringing noise. She instinctively reached her hand down to answer it, but Hammond's hand was fast to stop her.

"Wait! If you answer this phone, people will know you are alive. I'm sorry to do this to you, but it's now or never. I'll even take you up on Cabot's suggestion if you both want, but this is the only chance Olivia," Hammond said, making sure the detective understood by speaking clearly and even using her first name.

Olivia contemplatively looked up at Alex and down to her ringing cell phone. Alex wished more than anything she could have an inside look at Olivia's mind to know what she was thinking. She regretted suggesting that they live together, afraid that Olivia would turn down protection if she disliked the idea. Everyone was silent as Olivia made up her mind; the suspense was easily taking over everyone's thoughts. With one final glance, Olivia picked up her cell phone and handed it to Hammond.

"Okay, you're right, I need to do this," Olivia said before turning her attention to Alex, finally giving her more than just a cold shoulder. "Alex, are you sure you're okay with that? Living with me isn't exactly an easy task."

Alex was surprised at Olivia's words. Of all the doubts she could have had about living with Alex, it was that she wasn't easy?

"Nothing about any of this is going to be easy, Olivia. It sure would be better to go through it with a friend though, if you want," she didn't want to pressure Olivia into saying yes, even though she really wanted her to. Alex quickly justified this desire with her own want to not be alone with a new life and new people.

"Okay, Hammond, when do we leave?" Olivia asked as she took a deep breath and reached for Alex's hand to take in her own. Alex smiled to herself, happy that she was no longer receiving a cold shoulder.

"Right now. If both of you give me short lists, I can send an agent to each of your homes to retrieve a few items that you really want with you. Other than that, I'll get another identity set up for Detective Benson and you'll both be staying in the place we have already set up for Ms. Cabot," Hammond said as he handed them a notepad and a pen.

Alex had already had some time to think through what she needed. She wrote instructions on where to find a photo album, her glasses that she had forgot, her medications, and a few other personal items that would be necessary. Olivia made a similar list of her own and handed the notepad back to Hammond.

"Where are we going?" Alex inquired, hoping it would be somewhere at least a bit enjoyable.

"Erie, Pennsylvania," Hammond responded nervously. Both women shot him confused looks, obviously not too fond of the idea.

"Isn't that just some Amish town, since it's in Pennsylvania? I mean I have nothing against them, but we can't just go from living in New York City to that," Olivia said quite nervously. Hammond just laughed at her response.

"Quite a misconception you have there, Ms. Benson. It's a decent sized city by the lake, nothing that is going to kill you. Everything there is very much modernized, as is a lot of Pennsylvania," Hammond explained, still finding her reaction quite hilarious.

Both women slowly relaxed. They were glad they wouldn't be living without electricity or anything like that at least. Hammond noticed the women were still holding hands and an idea popped into his head. "Alright now ladies, I need to make a phone call. We should be in Erie in about six hours, you can sleep until then," Hammond said. He turned around in the passenger seat and flicked a switch that allowed the women to have a tiny bit of privacy. A black glass barrier scrolled up behind the front seats, like one on the inside of a limousine.

"I'm scared," Alex said while looking to Olivia for reassurance.

"So am I, but this is the right thing to do," Olivia said, more to assure herself than Alex.

"I just hope Erie is going to be safe enough," Alex said fearfully.

Olivia, hating to see the fear in the normally icy ADA, put her other arm around Alex and pulled her into her side. They might as well get used to the closeness anyways, as in a few hours they would be living a whole new life together.

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><p>AN (again): Just a side note, I wasn't sure where to send them, so I figured what better than to place them in my own hometown. I know enough about it to get the area pretty accurate, including the misconceptions.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.**

**A/N: I start school in two days, and while I will try to keep my weekly update, there's a chance I won't be able to. I'm involved in a lot of time consuming theatre things and I participate in just about every writing class and extracurricular activity I can. I'll do my best to keep some inspiration left over for this though because your reviews give me so much confidence in what I write. Thank you all so much!**

**By the way, I know this is highly unlikely to really happen, but I don't care. =]**

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><p>A slightly restless Alex Cabot slowly let her eyelids flutter open at the feeling that someone was shaking her. Looking up, she was correct, and the culprit was none other than Olivia. "Hey sleepyhead," she joked, trying to keep the mood as positive as possible given the current circumstances. The sadness behind her words certainly didn't help.<p>

"Hey," Alex responded groggily. She hadn't intended to fall asleep on Olivia like that, but the woman's arms had just been so damn comfortable, she couldn't help it.

"Hammond says we're about an hour away, he's got the information for us on our new lives," Olivia said in a somewhat melancholy tone. She forced a smile in attempt to reassure Alex that things would be okay while she wasn't so sure herself that they would be.

"Okay, we might as well hear it," Alex said as she regretfully sat up and looked at Hammond. She immediately missed Olivia's warm contact, but that would be an issue for later on.

"Right, well here are your files, ladies. Inside you'll find birth certificates, ID cards, Passports, insurance cards, and other important documents. They should tell you all you'll need to know about your new lives," Hammond began.

The women took the files uneasily and looked at all the overwhelming information they would have to memorize.

"To give you a brief overview, I'll tell you this. Ms. Cabot, you are now to be known as Emily Alexander. There are some job opportunities available for you at a local insurance compant. You moved here from Connecticut to get a change of scene. Everything else you can find in that file and I suggest you memorize it as quickly as you can," Hammond said, realizing it would all be a lot for her to take in. Alex sighed, realizing it was all really happening and it wasn't just a bad nightmare.

"Now, onto you, Ms. Benson. Your new name will be Julie Alexander. With such short notice we don't have a job secured for you yet, but I assure you that will be handled as soon as possible if you don't find one on your own first," Hammond informed her, but he could already tell from her facial expression that she had a question and he was pretty sure he already knew what it would be.

"I don't understand, we have the same last name? We don't look the least bit related so I don't see how…" Olivia trailed off, unsure of what to expect.

Alex flashed Hammond the same look of confusion. He had to think for a moment how to carefully phrase his explanation.

"That's because you aren't blood related ladies. You are wives, you're married," Hammond explained, almost loving the widened eyes of the two women. It was clear to him that they had a certain unmistakable chemistry, and if he was right, this arrangement would more than work out nicely.

"What? B-but we aren't…" Alex didn't even know what to say. This was definitely an all new situation to her, and Olivia wasn't having a much different reaction.

She wondered how he had known. Alex didn't think her apparent feelings towards Olivia were that obvious, but Hammond clearly had gotten the idea from somewhere. She thought back to the hospital room where she had been mumbling something about Olivia and cringed, figuring that must have given him the idea.

She looked nervously at Olivia, hoping the idea didn't repulse her. To Alex's relief, Olivia simply looked surprised. In fact, she couldn't be sure, but there appeared to be the makings of a smirk curiously playing on Olivia's lips.

"Now I know you aren't sure about this idea, but trust me, it will work out. Like you said, you could never pass for sisters. Two friends living together in a house would cause a bunch of unnecessary speculation anyways. You insisted on living together, this is what I can give you on short notice. It is easier for us to use just one last name," Hammond said, knowing they would oblige sooner or later.

Olivia swallowed inwardly and rigidly turned to Alex. Sure, she didn't really mind the idea, but there was no way Alex would ever go for it. She couldn't comprehend the idea of the no-nonsense ADA being okay with a sudden marriage she had no say in. Because of all this, Olivia was surprised to see a new look in Alex's eyes. She seemed scared like Olivia had expected, but there was also a hint of curiosity in those big blue pools that wasn't typically there.

"So, are we like legally married then?" Olivia asked, somewhat surprising Alex that she still wasn't knocking the idea.

"Well, it depends. Technically, it isn't legal in Pennsylvania, but according to the documents where it says you were married, you are."

Olivia and Alex simultaneously looked up at each other. Something about the word 'wives' felt interesting to the women. It was new and, although neither would admit it, exciting.

Hammond soon realized they had both completely forgot his presence in the car. He was tempted to watch, fascinated by the way they interacted without many words, but decided against it. The professional in him forced his eyes back to the road in front of him.

The way Alex's eyes bore into Olivia's made her blush. She gently bit her lip as she looked away. Alex would be lying if she said the action didn't turn her on a little. She relished every second when she looked at Olivia. The brunette's slightly disheveled hair from the nights events mixed with her almost exotic olive skin tone was more than enough to make any girl weak in the knees. Alex grinned as she realized that wasn't the only place it made her feel something.

Gaining back some courage, Olivia looked up and returned the gaze into her wife's eyes. 'Yea, Alex fits the word wife quite well,' Olivia thought to herself as they both continued their transfixing gazes. Neither had yet to comment on the current situation, but it appeared that they had no need to.

Alex and Olivia knew each other well enough to know they the other seemed surprisingly okay with the idea of being married.

Hammond couldn't resist taking a glimpse into the rearview mirrors and grinning just slightly enough for it to be noticed by a highly trained eye. 'Oh yes,' he thought to himself, 'this will most certainly work quite nicely.'

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><p>AN: Because this is so short, I'll update it again in a few days. I thought about continuing, but this seemed like a nice ending spot. Had I continued I guaruntee I would have spent half the night adding about ten pages, and then it would have just been super long and I would have been dead tired. This story is going to pick up soon, I promise. I have ideas!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.

A/N: Okay, so I know, I suck at keeping my update schedule. I was going good up until now! Senior year + AP and honors courses + theatre productions = I don't have a lot of spare time, so I'm really sorry this took me so long! I probably should be doing fifty other things right now, but I felt inspired to write this when I woke up, so I thought, why not!

P.S. Sorry if the names get confusing, let me know!

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><p>Hammond said his goodbyes before leaving the two women to explore their new home. He had joined them inside after they arrived to explain a few more important details, but now it was time for the burly matchmaker to bid his farewells and let them try to lead a somewhat normal life for a while. Sometimes, while the new identities often wreaked havoc on a person who already knew themselves, the chance to start fresh and finally lead a stable life could be.<p>

The women sat silently on the couch, Olivia looking around the room in slight fascination. She had always wanted to live in a house, and now she finally was. Unfortunately it was under such tragic circumstances. Alex, unlike Olivia, was blankly staring at one seemingly plain spot on the wall. Unsure exactly how long they were just sitting there, both women jumped slightly startled by someone ringing the doorbell.

Olivia instinctively reached for her gun but realized that would be too obvious. It had to stay hidden and used only in an emergency so people wouldn't suspect anything. "Wait here," Olivia told Alex as she got up to get the door. While Olivia was scared it would be Velez's men, Alex barely even processed the sound; movement wasn't going to happen with or without Olivia's command.

Peering through the peephole, Olivia sighed in relief. There was a man with curly blonde hair carrying a clipboard. Everything about him presumed a moving company guy except for the FBI badge he was discreetly flashing towards the door.

"Ah, I assume you're here with our things?" She asked softly when she opened the door. It would be nice to have the slightest reminder of home.

"Yes, it'll just take me a few minutes to bring the boxes in," he said before walking back to his moving truck with Olivia a few steps behind.

"Here, I can help. I know there won't be much." Olivia was right, there were only four boxes inside the truck, two of which most likely held some of the women's clothes.

Once the boxes had been brought inside and the faux moving company gone, Olivia made her way back into the family room where Alex was still sitting in the same place, unmoving. Sighing, she sat down right next to Alex on the couch and tucked some of her hair behind her ear, finally getting the blonde's attention.

"Alex, you want to look around the rest of our house a little?" Olivia asked hopefully. There was no need to ask if Alex was okay like she initially had wanted to; it was clear that neither of them could be okay with all that was happening.

"Alex is dead. Now I'm just this Emily girl, but I know nothing about her except what I read in the file. I know she loves playing poker with the other wives and gossiping about petty rumors. I know she likes to cook and read classic literature in her spare time. She's this totally model person, and what if I disappoint her standards," Alex confessed tearfully.

"Oh, sweetheart," Olivia pulled her as tightly as she could without causing further pain into a hug and just held her. Alex's heart jumped at the use of that particular term of endearment again. They could take away Alex Cabot, but if Olivia wanted to call her that she would always be able to.

"Listen to me. Alex doesn't have to be dead, okay? Alex and Olivia don't need to be forgotten. Julie and Emily are what we make them and nothing more, we don't owe them anything. I know it's hard, but at least we aren't alone, we can do this," Olivia said, finally releasing her arms from around the blonde.

"I'm scared," Alex revealed. Olivia was somewhat shocked how much Alex was letting her walls down, but justified it with the fact that if either of them shut each other out during all of this, they would probably end up going insane.

"What if we are still Alex and Olivia when we're alone? Unless we start to slip up in public, then we may have to use the names Julie and Emily all the time. But, please believe me, Alex. I'll never forget who you really are."

Alex looked up and nodded in understanding. Finally she stood from her spot on the couch and grabbed for Olivia's comforting hand. "Let's see our house."

The front door was in a little entry way that left visitors with three directions to go. To the right was the family room, where they had been sitting up until now. To the left was the dining room, which Alex commented needed a little redecorating as soon as possible. Through an archway in there was the kitchen where Emily would be attempting to cook.

The third option was the stairs that led to the top floor. At the top there was a long hallway with four doors. The first one they opened turned out to be a nice sized closet. It would be good for storage when they eventually had something to store. The second door was a bedroom, presumably for guests to stay in, if they ever had the need for any. Olivia was used to not having any family to have to accommodate for, but Alex was having a hard time not imagining her own family coming up for visits on the holidays. That would never be able to happen now.

The third door was a decent sized bathroom that was decorated in a strange shade of orange. Alex made a face of total disgust, which made Olivia laugh. She was making a mental note to not trust the government's decorating abilities ever again.

The final door, at the end of the hall, was revealed to be the master bedroom. In the center of the back wall was a king sized bed with a cream fluffy comforter on top. The room was mostly barren, aside from a dresser on one side and a large walk in closet on the other.

They had been mostly silent throughout the mini tour of the house, but now it looked like Olivia was going to speak. "So, I suppose you can take this room and I'll sleep in the guest room," Olivia offered awkwardly.

"Don't married people typically share a bed?" Alex hadn't thought about the sleeping arrangements until Olivia said something. She had just assumed they'd be sharing a bed, but now she felt embarrassed about suggesting it. "I mean, if you feel uncomfortable with the idea we don't have to."

"You really don't want to be alone right now either, do you?" Olivia said knowingly. She had been afraid of leaving Alex's side all day, and the thought of doing so at night had somewhat scared the fearless detective.

"Nope," Alex said, glad she wasn't the only one. "So I guess that settles it, no separate rooms for now."

"Uhm, Alex?" Olivia asked as a thought suddenly donned on her. Sleeping together wasn't the only thing married people did.

"Yes, Liv?" She said, glad they could keep their real selves around each other at least.

"If we're married, we can't just keep acting like acquaintances. I know neither of us have ever been married, but don't we have to do things like kiss or hold hands in public?" Olivia asked nervously. Truth be told, she had begun to realize she wanted nothing more than to be kissed by Alex, but she wanted to earn that kiss and not have it because of an act.

"Well, we're already holding hands, so I think we have that part covered," Alex gave her, hoping to skip over the other part. Alex wanted to kiss Olivia, but she didn't want Emily to beat her to it. Not hesitating another second, she pulled the brunette in to her and closed the distance between their lips. The kiss was hard and full of every pent up emotion from the last few hours. It wasn't anything that would cause fireworks, but it made their hearts jump a little together.

Olivia pulled back in shock, but the smile forming on her lips was hard to conceal. She brought her hand up to gently touch the spot where Alex's soft lips had just been.

"There, now Alex and Olivia have kissed, so it shouldn't be a problem for Emily and Julie," Alex said flustered, before turning on her heels and walking briskly back down the stairs. Olivia just looked after her in shock, glad she had been kissed by Alex instead of Emily.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.**

**A/N:** You guys are amazing! You have no idea how much it means to me that you didn't give up on this story when I went so long without an update, so in return I'm trying to return to my weekly updates. This isn't where I expected this story to go, at all, but the characters just sort of popped out of me. They probably won't be in it much more though, so don't worry! Thank you all! =]

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><p>Olivia was stunned by the kiss. No matter how she looked at it, it still seemed completely unexpected. The brunette wouldn't lie to herself though, she had rather enjoyed it. In fact, that was an understatement; she had quite liked the kiss a lot. It was something she had wanted to experience for quite a while and, despite the circumstances, had really looked forward to.<p>

She knew she would eventually have to go talk to Alex about what had just happened. After all, it wasn't in her nature to just spontaneously do things like that; not that Olivia was objecting to it. She knew though, that Alex was already in a pretty fragile emotional state, and it would be best to be careful that she didn't further play with those emotions at all.

Meanwhile, Alex was downstairs pacing back and forth in their new kitchen. 'What have I done? Olivia surely didn't want me to kiss her. What if I just screwed up everything? What if she goes to Hammond as asks to be taken away from me as soon as possible?' Alex's thoughts wracked her mind and terrified her. While her heart was still trying to wrap itself around the fact that she had just enjoyably kissed the stunning brunette, her mind was moving a million miles a minute and continuously raising concern after concern.

Alex knew she'd have to face Olivia about what she'd just done soon, but putting it off couldn't hurt. She could feel herself growing nervous, which is why it came to no surprise to the blonde when she jumped at the surprising sound of the doorbell going off through the house. The sound felt foreign to her ears, it was different from the typical buzz of New York apartment doors. There was no need to buzz anyone in, nothing to protect her from the outside world but a single door.

She meandered out from the kitchen and got to the front door only a few seconds after Olivia did.

Olivia was looking apprehensively through the peep hole, and she found a young couple she didn't recognize in the least.

"Who is it?" Alex asked from behind Olivia. It felt strange to speak words that weren't about what had just happened upstairs. It felt as if Julie and Emily had to take over and they didn't want to bring it up. She hated this constant feeling of fear at every unknown face or sudden sound; even if it had only been a day so far she knew it would last much longer. It wasn't fair that her life had to have been impeded on so much because of someone else's actions.

Olivia's feelings weren't much different. She wanted to be able to do the things she could before, like answering the door without feeling like her best friend's murderer would be on the other side. "Some young couple, maybe they live around here?" Olivia suggested, figuring the people were probably harmless.

However, when Olivia turned around she was surprised to see Alex nervously shaking a few steps behind her. "Oh, Alex." Olivia immediately pulled her wife into a hug, realizing that she was just as afraid as Olivia had been. Only, Olivia didn't realize that part of Alex's shaking was caused by her fear of being rejected by her. The strangers at the door certainly did frighten her, but the prospect of losing her only remaining life line seemed much scarier at the moment.

"Hey, it's okay. They're just some harmless people, but I should answer the door now since they've been waiting pretty long." She gently rubbed up and down Alex's uninjured arm to try and quickly calm her down before turning and answering the door.

"Welcome to the neighborhood!" a peppy blonde woman exclaimed when the door was opened just wide enough to reveal Olivia. She was wearing a blue sun dress covered in flowers with a basket of what Olivia could have sworn were muffins hanging off her arm.

Olivia was shocked, to say the least. They had just joined the neighborhood and already it was like a different planet compared to New York. Back home she barely even knew her neighbors more than just what she had gathered from a few estranged conversations, but here she already had people coming to welcome her.

"Thank you," Olivia said apprehensively while the woman practically thrust the basket of muffins at her. She hid her thoughts behind a plastered smile that she hoped Alex would mimic behind her. It was as good a time as any to start making friends, seeing as they would probably be there for a while.

"I'm Cindy Paxton and this is my husband Jim. We saw the moving van and just couldn't wait to stop by and welcome you here!" the peppy blonde said happily. Olivia held in a smirk when she watched as the woman elbowed her husband to get him to smile. At least she knew not everyone in the neighborhood acted as if all they consumed was caffeine and sugar.

Olivia reached out a hand to shake with the kind new neighbors she appeared to have. "Hi, I'm Julie Alexander and," she looked back to find Alex and grabbed her hand, pulling her into view in the doorway as well. "This is my wife Emily," she announced proudly as Alex reached forward timidly to shake their hands as well.

"Your wife?" Jim asked in slight surprise. Olivia had been mentally preparing herself for any opinions they might get on the marriage, and she wasn't going to let anyone try and hurt them over it.

"Yes, my wife. We've been happily married for the last five years," Olivia informed them with a 'Just dare me' look on her face. She placed an arm defensively around Alex's waist and pulled her just a little bit closer as if protecting her from something.

Jim must have realized how his question had sounded, for he immediately backtracked. "Oh, I didn't mean to offend you. I was just a little surprised; we don't normally get beautiful ladies married to each other around here. I think it's great," Jim amended. He really hadn't meant to make it seem like he was against it.

Alex caught the little glance his wife gave him when he called them beautiful and figured he would probably have his ear talked off for it later. The people truly were trying to be nice neighbors, so she let her guard slip away slightly and softened her stance against Olivia. She really liked Jim, even if his wife was getting on her nerves a little. He wore a nice business suit, so she figured he was probably a hard worker, somewhat like those she had been accustomed to back in New York.

"Its fine," Alex assured him with a smile. "So, which house do you live in?" Olivia looked proudly at Alex for gathering herself back up and not trying to ice the neighbors out. The strength that woman had was probably what Olivia truly admired most about her. She knew how hard this was on Alex, so she made a mental note to tell her how great she was later.

"That one right across the street," Cindy said with as much excitement as one would expect to hear if she had won a lottery or something. "It's right between the Sumner's and the Gray's, I'm sure they'll be by to welcome you later as well." She gestured to the two houses she was referring to.

"Wow, this neighborhood is so friendly. It's way different than back home, huh A- Emily?" Olivia said, remembering at the last second that she couldn't slip up and call Alex by her real name.

"Yes, I don't think I even knew our neighbors, honey," Alex said as she silently shot Olivia a look to be more careful.

"Oh, really? Well that's a shame. Where did you move here from?" Cindy asked, seemingly horrified at the idea of not knowing one's neighbors. Olivia made a mental note to watch her carefully, just in case she tried to get too close and found out anything she shouldn't know. The last thing they needed was a nosey neighbor prying around in their private lives.

Olivia realized after a delay that she didn't remember the answer to that. Alex noticed her hesitation and immediately jumped in to the rescue. "Connecticut. We're from Connecticut. It's very beautiful there, so peaceful." Alex realized her answer didn't really match Olivia's statement. As far as she knew, Connecticut was a lot like Pennsylvania, so she figured people there probably knew their neighbors for the most part as well. Alex just hoped Cindy didn't think anything was strange about it. Luckily it didn't appear as if she had caught on.

"Oh, how nice it must be there," Cindy said, once more with more enthusiasm than necessary.

"Sweetie, I think we should probably let them get back to their unpacking. I'm sure moving must have made today quite exhausting," Jim said kindly. Oh how little he know, the moving was the least tiring thing they'd done all day. Alex gave him a silent look of gratitude when his wife wasn't looking.

"Oh, alright," Cindy said to her husband before turning back to the women in the doorway. "One more thing though. We're throwing a big neighborhood family picnic tomorrow afternoon. I know its short notice, but all the ladies will be dying to meet you!"

Olivia looked to Alex, silently begging her for some sort of answer. When she didn't receive one, Olivia had to think on her toes. "Well, we'll try to make it, but-," Olivia started, but she didn't get to finish her sentence, for it seemed Cindy had already decided for her.

"Oh, marvelous! See you then ladies!" And with that she was dragging Jim, who looked back and gave a small wave, back across the street. Having neighbors certainly was a strange thing to get used to.

Once the door was shut, Olivia turned to Alex and let out a heavy sigh. "Well, this is definitely going to be a big change, huh? And I suppose I need to be more careful." Olivia walked into their sitting room and Alex followed, plopping down on the couch right beside her.

"I suppose Emily and Julie will be expected to appear at this picnic tomorrow, won't we?" Alex said with a small laugh. It barely even counted as a laugh, but after the day they'd been having Olivia welcomed it with open arms.

Feeling quite comfortable around Alex for the time being, Olivia wrapped her arm around her shoulders and gently pulled her in. "Well, my beautiful wife, now what?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.

**A/N:** Thank you, thank you, thank you! I tried to make this a little more serious, but the next chapter will be at the picnic. I think I finally have this story fully planned out, at least up to the end. Anyways, enjoy, and until next week 3 Thanks!

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><p>Alex felt a little jolt in her heart at Olivia calling her "wife." It was a term she had never really associated herself with before, but hearing it from Olivia made her feel warm. And of course the brunette just had to add the beautiful part in. '<em>Does Olivia really think I'm beautiful?'<em> Alex asked herself. It was enough to help her momentarily forget about their situation, which she was more than grateful for.

"Your beautiful wife would like to maybe order some dinner. What do you feel like looking for?" Alex asked, making sure Olivia knew she had indeed heard the beautiful wife part and had no problems with it.

"I think I saw a phone book in the kitchen. How about I order us a pizza, that way we can just stay here and get accustomed to it a little better," Olivia suggested. Alex nodded her approval as Olivia left her comfort and went into the kitchen to place the order. While she had never really considered herself much of a pizza person—it was so informal—she would gladly eat it for Olivia.

Several minutes later Olivia was back at the couch, joining Alex in staring at the blank wall. "Alex, I think we should talk about what happened," Olivia suddenly said, breaking the once welcomed silence.

Alex was slightly shocked at Olivia's statement, but quickly realized it was perfectly justified. They had been through quite an ordeal, so if Olivia wanted to talk about what had happened it was understandable. The problem was that Alex wasn't so sure she was ready to discuss the night's events. "I know, we need to, Liv. But, I don't think I'm ready just yet. Everything that happened with Elliot, with almost losing you, I don't think I'm finished processing it yet," Alex confessed, her eyes suddenly welling with tears.

Olivia immediately realized she and Alex weren't talking about the same thing, and she felt horrible for having made Alex think about their traumatizing events so soon. She had somehow managed to temporarily place that in the back of her mind, not even thinking about the fact that it had happened yet. Without a second thought, Olivia pulled Alex into a big comforting hug, murmuring soft shushing sounds all the while. "Alex, I'm sorry for upsetting you, but that isn't what I was referring to."

Alex wasn't sure if she'd heard Olivia right and sat up straight to look at the brunette carefully. "Then what were you referring to exactly?" Alex asked cautiously.

Now that she was about to come out with it, Olivia felt a little embarrassed. She didn't really know why, but she blushed furiously. There was no way Alex didn't notice it, which was confirmed when she saw the blonde's face grow even more confused.

"I was actually referring to what just happened upstairs." This time it was Alex's turn to blush. She had pushed that out of her mind when the obnoxious neighbors had dropped by and now was wishing Olivia had too. Of course this is what Olivia wanted to talk about; Alex couldn't believe she had jumped to a conclusion so quickly.

"Oh," was all that the blonde managed to get out. At this, she leaned back down into the back of the couch with a sigh.

"Alex, why did you kiss me now?" Olivia asked calmly. She didn't want to upset Alex, especially since she already had quite a bit.

"I told you why Olivia. I didn't want Emily to kiss you before I got the chance," she said again, recalling her earlier statement from right after the incident. Alex wasn't sure if Olivia just didn't understand her meaning about Emily being someone different or if she had something else in mind.

"Yes, you did tell me that, but that's not what I meant. I meant, why now? Why didn't you do it before we ended up here?" Olivia asked boldly.

It took Alex a second to collect her thoughts around what Olivia was saying. '_Wait, so she's not mad that I kissed her?'_ Alex thought to herself. She was sure that was why Olivia had brought it up, to let her down and say she didn't want that. But, here she was, saying pretty much the opposite. "I… I don't know," Alex stammered. "I didn't think you wanted me to, Olivia, but I've wanted to for so long. I realized it might be my last chance," she confessed and looked away.

Olivia simply smiled and reached out a hand to grab Alex's chin and tilted her head so she was looking her in the eyes. The brunette leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Alex's lips, this time because she wanted to. Their lips met and an inexplicable sense of home seemed to fall over them both. Things just felt right for the moment, and all thoughts of death and pain seemed to move to the backs of their minds.

The kiss was cut short by a ring off the doorbell, causing them both to jump. Both women wondered to themselves when they would stop jumping at the slightest sound, and it brought back the reason they were there to the forefront of their minds. Olivia pulled back from a still slightly stunned Alex and smiled. "That must be our pizza," she sighed before getting up to retrieve the pizza and pay the delivery guy.

When Olivia returned, Alex had grabbed some cheep dishes from their new kitchen to eat the pizza off. This wasn't exactly the life she was used to as a Cabot, but she was starting to find she didn't mind it. After hesitantly taking a bite of her pizza, Alex decided she really liked it a lot more than she thought; maybe she was a pizza person after all. They ate in silence, both lost in their thoughts of the last 48 hours and all that had happened.

It would soon be time for bed, and both women could say they were equally nervous and excited. The nerves stemmed from fear of what would go on in their minds as they slept. Olivia especially always had horrid nightmares after a bad case, and this would be no exception. She didn't want to close her eyes and be met by Elliot's pained expression staring at her during his last breath. She didn't want to remember Alex laying on the ground bleeding out, or how she'd thought the beautiful woman was dead.

The excitement was because they wouldn't be alone. Olivia could maybe sleep a little better if she had Alex with her, within reach in case she needed to confirm that the woman she clearly had deep feelings for was alright. The same went for Alex, who still could not forgive herself for allowing Olivia to get shot at on her behalf. The thoughts of the shooting reminded Alex of their wounds, which she realized would need to be cleaned.

"Liv, I should change the bandage on your arm," she said in concern as she realized it had been a while since that had been done. Without waiting for Olivia to answer, Alex went over and got the first aid kit from the car that Hammond had allowed them to take for use until they made it to a store. Olivia reluctantly removed her jacket and rolled up her sleeve.

Olivia winced slightly as Alex repeated the procedure from the car, gritting her teeth when the burning alcohol was placed on the wound. Alex sympathetically kissed her cheek when she was finished, knowing all too well that Olivia was in a lot more pain than she was letting on.

"Thanks," Olivia said with a little blush in response to the kiss. She wondered how to return the favor before she looked at Alex and realized she too was wounded, and much worse. "Oh gosh, Alex, you were actually shot much worse than me. Here, I'll help you," Olivia went to look remove Alex's hospital bandaged, but Alex jumped back fearfully.

"No!" she said, a little harsher than intended. She didn't mean to snap at Olivia, and immediately felt bad when she saw the look of hurt on her face. Her tone softened, but the fear didn't leave her voice. "I mean, I can do it myself, but thanks." And with that, Alex grabbed the first aid kit supplies and sped off to the bathroom to do it in private.

Olivia wanted to follow and make sure she was alright, but she knew Alex probably just needed time. She couldn't understand Alex's way of thinking, but she knew it had something to do with needing to do things for herself for a while. She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to help Alex, but she also knew there was no way around letting Alex Cabot get what she wanted when she wanted it.

About ten minutes later, Olivia was ready to give up her resolve and go help Alex when the woman herself finally emerged as calm as she had been before she had yelled. Olivia carefully approached, just in case Alex didn't want to be touched, but when the blonde wrapped her arms around Olivia she knew that wasn't the case.

"I don't know about you, but it's been a long day and I'm exhausted. Bed?" Alex asked hopefully.

Olivia chuckled, more because Alex seemed back in good spirits. They would have to talk about Alex's reaction later, but it could wait a night. For now, Alex's idea for sleep sounded heavenly. "I'd say that's an excellent idea wife," Olivia said as she grabbed her wife's hand and walked her up the steps.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.

A/N: Wow, first of all, I owe you all an immense apology for taking so long, yet again. You know, if I do this again, feel free to yell at me to update sooner XD. Now, I know this was supposed to be the fun chapter, but as I sat to write it I just couldn't. A lot has been happening in my personal life, and as you'll soon realize, the only thing that wanted to come out were dark thoughts. That being said, to make up for that I will try and update in the next few days.

This is shorter because I didn't think it would be appropriate to mix such a dark start with what I have planned for the next chapter.

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><p><em>Olivia found herself staring off into the dark, nothing but silence filling the air she breathed. Something was off, but what? Through the darkness she could make out the familiar silhouette of New York City architecture against the sky. She had been there before, that she knew. Suddenly, a street lamp began to flicker on, bathing the brunette in just enough light to make out a little of her surroundings.<em>

_Something pulled her gaze down to her hands; they were not typically the first place she would have looked to figure out what was happening. What made her stop there, though, was the bright red color they seemed to be. No, wait, her hands weren't red, they just had something red on them. But what was it? She looked to the ground where the red substance seemed to be pooling beneath her hands. _

_The way the liquid moved, the way it smelled, she was no stranger to it. This was definitely blood, but whose? Olivia felt her own blood run cold. In fact, everything around her felt cold and crystallized all of a sudden. But the blood kept dripping to the ground, now beginning to run in a small stream towards something. _

_Olivia followed the blood, although she could not place why. Her head was screaming at her legs to stop; she didn't want to see what she was slowly approaching. The legs didn't listen though; they just seemed to quicken their pace until she found herself standing in front of a shadow on the ground._

_Upon closer inspection, she realized it wasn't a shadow, but a very pale, blonde woman. "Alex," the word came out just above a whisper at first as realization seemed to set in. No, it couldn't be her. But it was her. "Alex," Olivia said, slightly louder this time as the panic began to set in. She looked back to her hands, soaked in what she know knew to be Alex's blood. No. If her blood was on Olivia's hands, then she must be… Olivia couldn't even think the word. The scream inside her finally seemed to have freed itself as the piercing sound of Olivia's cries filled the one-time silence._

"Olivia!" Alex said once again, now firmly trying to shake Olivia from her restless sleep. At first the brunette had only called out her name, alerting Alex that something could be wrong. She tried gently to rouse Olivia, but the older woman only seemed to get more determined. By the time the screaming began, Alex was desperate to get the woman to wake up.

Fearful eyes finally fluttered open, piercing into Alex's own eyes. Olivia couldn't quite process her surroundings and began to shake, earning an even more concerned look from Alex. "Shh, Liv, you just had a bad dream," she said, trying to comfort her. She went to place her hand on Olivia's shoulder, but the older woman jerked back at the contact.

Olivia looked down to her own hands, as she could see through the moonlight that calmly lit the room. They were clean now, no longer covered in the blonde's blood. Relief washed over Olivia as her eyes welled with tears. Almost instantly, she found herself clinging tightly to Alex, afraid to release her again.

"Shh, Liv, it's okay," Alex said calmly once again.

"You were… and I…" Olivia couldn't even get the words out as her body became overwhelmed with sobs. Alex just held her, softly rubbing her hand up and down the brunettes back until she felt her breathing even out.

She knew sleep was important, but Alex was afraid to go back to it just yet. She wanted to—needed to—see that Olivia would be okay first. She took the moment to look at Olivia's face, happy to finally see peace in it, even if it was just for a few moments. It was the calm before the storm, in a way.

She didn't know how long she had stayed watching Olivia sleep, but her eyelids seemed to become increasingly heave by the minute; as if the sandman himself was above her, slowly dropping grains of sand to weigh them down. With Olivia still wrapped tightly in her arms, Alex drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Olivia and Alex awoke in a somewhat better mood than they had been in the day before. That is, until they remembered the picnic. The prospect of seeing their new neighbors again was quite a bit less than appealing to the two women, who wanted nothing more than to just have everything go back to normal. Of course, normal would never be able to come back. Instead, they would have to adapt to a new normal, and if that meant suburban picnics with overly peppy neighbors, then so be it.

"What does one wear to a picnic exactly?" Olivia asked, having never been one to attend such an event before.

"Well, I was thinking about a sundress," Alex said. When Olivia's eyes immediately widened in protest of the idea, she laughed as realistically as she could. "But you can just wear a nice summery outfit, Liv. Don't worry about a dress." She placed her hand gently on Olivia's arm as she spoke, leaning closer as she laughed hollowly once more.

Olivia felt her breath catch in her throat at the sudden contact and quickly smiled back. While she'd never admit it, Alex could so easily make her wear a summer dress by just doing the simplest of things. The effect she had was the strongest pull the brunette had ever felt; something stronger than she knew she was capable of feeling. There was no doubt in Olivia's mind; she was head over heels for Alex Cabot.

"Okay, well I think we'll have to go to the mall then. And judging by the looks of our kitchen, we're going to be needing to hit the grocery store," Olivia said, realizing they had quite a bit of work to do if they were going to look like a normal, functioning family.

"We have about… three hours until that picnic starts, so I suggest we leave now," Alex said, already heading towards the door.

Three hours later, the two women were talking across the street nervously. Alex was clad in a yellow and white cotton summer dress that complimented her blonde locks and, if anyone asked would have asked Olivia, complimented her curves in all the right places.

Quite the contrast, Olivia donned a pair of dark wash jeans and a white and yellow button down. After shopping, the women realized most of the clothes they had bought complimented each other. It was certainly something to laugh at, but both couldn't shake the thought that maybe they were already a little more in synch with each other than they thought.

Hand in hand, they walked across the dark asphalt towards the unknown. This neighborhood gathering seemed like the ultimate test to both of them, knowing they were about to put themselves out in to open a lot sooner than they would have preferred. Still, they didn't want to seem suspicious and have a bunch of disgruntled neighbors searching into their past, so staying home wasn't an option.

"Ready?" Olivia asked, tightening her grip on Alex's hand. She felt silly being so nervous, but after all they'd been though, it did make sense.

"Yes, I'm ready," Alex said, looking at the house before adding, "honey." They couldn't forget that they were supposed to be married, not that it would be much of a challenge. Like Hammond had predicted, the chemistry was there, they just had to find it.

Alex rang the doorbell and waited for someone to come answer.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the SVU characters. All matters pertaining to SVU are owned by Dick Wolf or their respective creators.

A/N: Thank you, lovelies! Your support for me with this story means the world to me. I wrote this while watching Loss, so I'm sorry if I missed any mistakes. Somehow I made it updating two weeks in a row!

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><p>They really had no idea what they were getting themselves into.<p>

No amount of preparation could have prepared Olivia and Alex for what they were about to experience. It was a dangerous place they were headed to, but it was too late to turn back. Olivia allowed her mind to think back to some of the crime scenes she had witnessed in her years on the force. They hadn't seemed peaceful at the time, but in a moment she would have been wishing to be there instead. She had seen the movies, but never imagined things could be as horrific as what she was met with at the door.

"Hello, neighbors!" Alex jumped at the startling greeting, and Olivia squeezed her hand just a little tighter. They were met by not only one, but three overly-peppy squealing women upon their arrival.

'Oh dear God, they're multiplying,' Olivia thought as she was pulled into a side air kiss—something she had always regarded as one of the fakest greetings of all time. She looked them over, each seeming to be in nearly identical floral sundresses. It was as if she'd entered into a neighborhood of cyborgs.

The worst of it all was, perhaps, that Alex was dressed just like them. She flashed her a knowing look and held in a chuckle, not sure exactly what to make of the coincidence. At least they were blending in.

"I must say, it certainly is nice to have people like you two in the neighborhood now," a yet-to-be-named woman with red hair chirped as Alex and Olivia were led through the house to the backyard where the picnic was being held.

Alex was confused by the question and asked, "People like us?" Was this woman trying to say she knew who they really were? That they were hiding from their would-be murderer? Alex felt the familiar panic begin to set in as all the possible meanings of the statement ran through her head like wildfire.

"Kelly, that is so rude. I'm sure they get that all the time," Cindy said to the woman apparently named Kelly.

'Well this is going well,' Olivia thought sarcastically. She was equally as confused as Alex about Kelly's statement, though.

The women looked around the house, taking in the decorations that fit Cindy Paxton perfectly. Over the mantle was a large painting of a fluffy white cat, and the wall to their right consisted of many shelves filled with trophies and awards from varied events—mostly country club related. The entrance to the backyard was through a sliding glass door in the kitchen, leading out onto a nice sized porch.

"I was just welcoming them, Cindy," Kelly said in the same verging on whining tone she had been using since they arrived. "It's not like we get a lot of _them_ around here."

"Excuse me?" Olivia said. She wished they would just spit out whatever they were trying to say already. It didn't seem possible that these women could get much more annoying, but they just kept surprising her.

"You know, women like you two who… like women," Kelly whispered the ending, as if saying that louder would have made things any more awkward. Olivia gawked at them, shocked that they were even talking about her relationship with Alex to them like that. She wanted to say something, well actually, she wanted to say a lot of things, but didn't get the chance as she was quickly cut off by Cindy.

"Emily, Julie, I need to introduce you to everyone," Cindy said as they reached the backyard. Alex looked around for whoever Emily and Julie could be before recalling that they were Olivia and herself. She flashed a fake smile, hoping her confusion hadn't been noticed.

"Oh, of course," Alex said with a fake smile. She saw the determined look on Olivia's face and leaned in to whisper to her as the women momentarily turned to call their husbands over. "Just let it go, please?" Alex pleaded, wanting the day to go as smoothly as possible so it could just be over with.

Olivia sighed with a resigned look and briefly nodded, not wanting to do anything to add any more stress to the blonde.

"Well, you've already met Jim," Cindy said, gesturing to the familiar guy manning the grill a few yards away. He looked up and gave a small smile before returning to his masterpiece. "And this is Kelly and her husband Broc," she added, referring to the same redhead from earlier and a burly man that came up to stand behind her. "And Jenna and her husband Tom," she finished with the last blonde woman and scrawnier man.

"Nice to meet you all," Alex said with her best lawyer smile. "I'm Emily, and this is my wife, Julie."

Just then a small child buzzed by from inside the house, nearly knocking the two women over.

"Michael, what have I told you about running in the house!" Cindy yelled at the young boy as he continued to tear towards a large pool.

"I'm not, mom! That's the porch."

"Just, slow down! And apologize to Emily and Julie for almost knocking them over!" Cindy ordered.

"Sorry!" he shouted before plunging into the water without a second thought.

"Ugh, kids!" Cindy said with a laugh, the other two women chiming in.

"I didn't know you had children," Olivia said with a smile, looking at about 7 kids around the pool area.

"Oh yes, we all do," the woman named Jenna added with a smile.

"That must be lovely," Alex said.

"Oh, it is, most of the time." And again the women all laughed while Alex and Olivia awkwardly smiled at them as if equally amused.

"You have such big backyards around here, I'm sure they love it," Olivia said, looking around curiously. Having a yard was something she had never experienced in New York growing up, but had always been curious about.

"Oh, didn't you have one back in Connecticut?" Cindy asked, confused. Connecticut wasn't much like the city they were used to.

Olivia froze for a moment, realizing her mistake. This really was turning out to be much harder than she had anticipated. Having a different identity didn't just erase everything she already knew, and she couldn't keep forgetting that. Olivia feared it would eventually bite one of them in the ass if a slip-up too big happened.

"We did," Alex quickly chimed in. "Just never had any use for it." Her excuse was mild, at best, but the women all seemed to buy it without qualm.

Nobody knowing what exactly to say, an awkward silence seemed to take over the group for a moment. Cindy, not being one for quiet, changed the subject.

"Emily, I absolutely love your dress!" she squealed in delight.

Olivia stifled a laugh at the comment, knowing Alex must have absolutely hated being told that. It had taken enough convincing earlier that people wouldn't wear business suits to picnics; Olivia would never let her live this down.

"Oh, thank you," Alex managed to say, desperate to keep the cringe from her face.

"You must tell us where you got it," Kelly added.

And it was off. The women delved into what, to them, was a fascinating conversation about dresses. There was no way for Alex to escape it, but Olivia saw her chance when the men began to meander back to their earlier place at the grill.

Olivia knew Alex would be angry at her later, but the thought of escaping from the peppy women was just too tempting to the former-detective. She flashed a smile at Jim, walking towards him. The ladies, aside from Alex, never seemed to even notice the disappearance of her presence as they continued their conversation on sundresses.

"Hey, Jim. So, you're the barbeque king around here?" Olivia asked as she neared the guys.

"That I am," he said proudly, earning a laugh from one of his buddies.

"So he likes to think," the guy, earlier identified as Tom, added.

"Well, it looks great," Olivia said seriously. She hadn't realized how starving she was until she was close enough to smell the delicious barbeque.

"Good, it shouldn't be too much longer," Jim said, turning to flip something.

"Julie, right?" Tom asked. Olivia nodded. "Want a beer?"

"Sure," Olivia said, relieved to hear those words. Maybe the picnic wouldn't be as bad as she thought.

Tom reached in to a cooler and brought out a nice, cool bottle to hand Olivia. She took it graciously, biting the cap off effortlessly.

"A girl with some muscle, I like that. It's refreshing," Broc said, clearly impressed by Olivia's bottle opening skills.

She laughed and took a swig. "Don't have many strong women around here?" Olivia asked, already figuring that was the case from the way their wives acted.

The men trailed off into a conversation about sports, Olivia soon finding ground to easily join in. Meanwhile, Alex was over in her own interesting conversation with the ladies.

"So I was just so embarrassed. I mean, who wears white after Labor Day?" Kelly said as the other women laughed.

Alex couldn't believe the company she was in. No, she could, they were a lot like the women she had grown up around that attended her mother's soirees, right down to the glasses of wine. She looked enviously at Olivia's beer across the yard, wishing she could have one instead of the wine she had been handed. Not that Alex disliked wine, but after the last few days it just didn't seem fitting.

She would have just asked for a beer, but after the women had made a big deal about how proper ladies drink wine, she didn't dare. There was one thing she was certain about, though, and that was that Olivia would pay for leaving her alone with them.

LOSSLOSSLOSSLOSS

It was already dark out when they returned home, both equally happy to be able to be themselves again. Olivia, after double checking that she had locked the front doors, walked over and flopped down on their couch. "Ugh, well that was a long day."

"Really? I much enjoyed conversing with the other ladies about the appropriate occasions to wear sundresses to. I think I'll just give up on business suits altogether and switch to them," Alex said in a familiar peppy voice.

"Very funny, Alex," Olivia laughed, patting the couch next to her for the blonde to take a seat.

"What's funny? That people like us would want to wear dresses?" Alex asked, still speaking just like Cindy.

"Okay, knock it off. Haven't you had enough of that for one day," Olivia said in mock annoyance while smiling at her wife.

"Stop what? While you were off having a beer with the guys, I was being invited on what sounds like a thrilling shopping trip," Alex continued, but finally sat down.

Olivia hopped up and went to the kitchen without a word, leaving Alex alone and confused on the couch. Just as she was about to follow, Olivia returned with two bottles of beer from the refrigerator. She sat down and handed one to Alex quickly.

"Here, drink this, I want my wife back," Olivia mused.

Alex just laughed and took a happy swig of the beer, sighing in relief. "Much better," the blonde said, finally relaxing against the couch by Olivia.

Olivia tried to cuddle closer, but Alex just gave her a harsh look.

"I'm sorry I left you alone with them," Olivia said before jutting out her bottom lip slightly. She knew even Alex couldn't resist it.

Alex just smiled and kissed Olivia's cheek. "Okay, you're forgiven. But only because I now have a beer in my hand!" she exclaimed jokingly. For the night, they enjoyed each other's company, both knowing the next day they could very well not be as lucky.


End file.
